Why not me?
America has become a voyeuristic society, I believe. We watch reality shows on TV, we look at other peoples photos on Instagram, and we have entire periodicals dedicated to celebrity lives. I wonder if it is that we are living vicariously through others? I mean, I love following pages on social media that have stories/photos of travel, social justice and world issues. But why don't I make myself part of the story, why not me?
I was given the opportunity this summer to travel to Los Angeles and take part in the Christian Community Development Association (CCDA). In a nutshell, To inspire, train, and connect Christians who seek to bear witness to the Kingdom of God by reclaiming and restoring under-resourced communities. Prior to the LA trip, I traveled to Saddleback Church in California for a Celebrate Recovery summit. During that summit, at some workshops for women in leadership and sex trafficking, I began to see how I could make an impact in the lives of women who are hurting. These trips, together with some deep soul searching, really got me thinking on making some major decisions to change the trajectory of my life.
I tend to be a dreamer with high expectations, I like to idealize and set major goals. But those same goals can have a tendency to scare me when I think of how to execute them. The fear of not knowing the outcome, details, and results can cause me to back off. Conversely, I love to be challenged and to prove people I can do what they'd never expect me to. Yes, I'm an oxymoron through and through. Therefore, why not me? All those amazing things I see others doing, those great careers or degrees others have, that can be me too!
Doing things afraid has become a new habit, and it can still be very uncomfortable for me. I recently applied for work in a field that I am clueless about, but that's also exciting! I am practicing skills that are out of my comfort zone in ministry, the introvert in me cringes, but I feel great afterwards when I've been stretched. I've decided that the areas in my life where I feel underdeveloped, are the areas where I will pursue mentorship, training and to educate myself.
As romantic as this all sounds, what it looks like tangibly is me shedding many tears, asking lots of questions, seeking wise counsel, and asking God for LOTS of wisdom because I am clueless! There are days when I give myself a pep talk, I tell myself that I can do this! I remind myself that as long as I keep Christ first, include Him in my plans and ask for His guidance, He will direct my steps.
Jeremiah 29:11New International Version (NIV)
I was given the opportunity this summer to travel to Los Angeles and take part in the Christian Community Development Association (CCDA). In a nutshell, To inspire, train, and connect Christians who seek to bear witness to the Kingdom of God by reclaiming and restoring under-resourced communities. Prior to the LA trip, I traveled to Saddleback Church in California for a Celebrate Recovery summit. During that summit, at some workshops for women in leadership and sex trafficking, I began to see how I could make an impact in the lives of women who are hurting. These trips, together with some deep soul searching, really got me thinking on making some major decisions to change the trajectory of my life.
I tend to be a dreamer with high expectations, I like to idealize and set major goals. But those same goals can have a tendency to scare me when I think of how to execute them. The fear of not knowing the outcome, details, and results can cause me to back off. Conversely, I love to be challenged and to prove people I can do what they'd never expect me to. Yes, I'm an oxymoron through and through. Therefore, why not me? All those amazing things I see others doing, those great careers or degrees others have, that can be me too!
Doing things afraid has become a new habit, and it can still be very uncomfortable for me. I recently applied for work in a field that I am clueless about, but that's also exciting! I am practicing skills that are out of my comfort zone in ministry, the introvert in me cringes, but I feel great afterwards when I've been stretched. I've decided that the areas in my life where I feel underdeveloped, are the areas where I will pursue mentorship, training and to educate myself.
As romantic as this all sounds, what it looks like tangibly is me shedding many tears, asking lots of questions, seeking wise counsel, and asking God for LOTS of wisdom because I am clueless! There are days when I give myself a pep talk, I tell myself that I can do this! I remind myself that as long as I keep Christ first, include Him in my plans and ask for His guidance, He will direct my steps.
Jeremiah 29:11New International Version (NIV)
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.
Comments
Post a Comment