Curly hair, don't care!

 

"Hombres gustan el pelo lacio!". I've heard that so much, it means "men like straight hair". Growing up in a Hispanic home (Puerto Rican), in a neighborhood with many Hispanics, attending a Hispanic church, I heard this very often! It was as if a woman's hair was meant to bring joy to men, and the preferred texture, according to what I heard around me, was very straight hair. But, like most Latinas, my hair wasn't naturally straight. Enter the heating tools and many hair products. The blow dryer and bristle brush are the weapons against thick, frizz prone curly Latina hair, and the hair salons filled with a mist of whitish blue smoke and aroma of burnt keratin are where you'll find the best blowouts!

 

A few weeks ago I had an epiphany. I washed my hair, with the intention of wearing my hair natural, but my hair no longer curled.....I had a tinge of sadness. For the past few years I have mostly straightened my hair using a blow dryer or flat iron, sometimes both, and my natural curl pattern was ruined. I began to ask myself, "Angie why do you keep straightening your hair?", and I didn't like my answer. I've been straightening my hair for others, because it has been ingrained in me that natural curls are passé or unkempt. But the thing is, I like my natural hair, a LOT! I haven't straightened my hair in almost 2 months and my curls are coming back.

 

I am a co-dependent, so if I'm not careful, I become a people pleaser. At times I'd rather appease others rather than rock the boat. But as I have acknowledged my co-dependency and spent the last year and a half healing, I have found my voice. I am okay with boundaries, saying no, and doing what is good for me even if others are uncomfortable. I am okay agreeing to disagree, and NOT apologizing for being how I am.

 

Don't get me wrong, for special occasions I may straighten my hair to avoid frizz in photos, but that will be for ME! It's the same theory I have with red lipstick, I wear it for ME. When I wear red lipstick I feel fierce and like I can conquer anything, I don't wear it to impress others. If red lipstick goes out of style, I will still buy it. This is less about being anti straight hair, as it's more about how do I define beauty, and why? As my hair begins to go gray, I almost gave in to dyeing it because other women started commenting on it. But, that is THEIR discomfort with age, not mine! I like my grays for now, if I start not liking them then I may dye my hair.

 

So, whether I wear red lipstick or clear gloss, go gray or dye my roots, wear my hair curly or straight, am I okay with how I feel? Am I looking to please others at the expense of what I prefer? Am I enabling others who may feel uneasy about their own issues?

 

My name is Angie, I am a few years shy of 40, wrinkles are forming, I'm going gray and I have curly frizz prone hair, and I'm also totally okay with that right now! If a day comes when I am not and decide to make some changes, that will also be okay as long as it is for me and not for you.